Spell
by Mnemosyne77
Summary: What if somebody put a series of spells on Camelot and nobody noticed? NOW COMPLETE. Definitely.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I'm really not well today so have stayed home. This just popped into my head. It's set around the beginning of Season 2. What can I say? Gwen's characterisation just annoys the hell out of me sometimes.**

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Spell

"Hwurfulan forgiefa," intoned the sorcerer, looking through the window and into the maidservant's house. His chosen victim was sitting sewing alone by candlelight.

He'd watched them all for several weeks now: the Prince he longed to assassinate to revenge himself on Uther; the hidden sorcerer who protected him; the headstrong Ward with the seer's gift; the pretty maid that Arthur had secret affection for.

He needed to distract them somehow, to turn their minds away from their own safety and to draw them into his web. He developed the perfect plan. Gwen was their linchpin, the nail that held the pieces together. Morgana's maid, Merlin's friend, Arthur's secret love. Without her, they would fly apart and Arthur would be vulnerable.

He would enchant Gwen and then 'arrive' in Camelot with a new 'non-magical cure for magic'. Uther would welcome him and, when the four friends were at their wit's end with being unable to help Gwen, they would seek his help.

Before anyone knew it, Arthur would be under his control.

"My revenge is nigh, Uther," he cackled as he cast the spell. Gwen stopped sewing for a moment and looked slightly confused. Then she picked up the dress she was embroidering and went back to work.

The sorcerer grinned and melted away into the darkness. He almost could not wait for morning to see the sparks fly.

* * *

It was a week later and it seemed that he, not them, was the one at their wit's ends. Why had they not come to him for help? Why did they seem so unconcerned?

Perhaps it was Merlin, he thought, perhaps he found a cure?

He found himself creeping around Camelot again, observing the four. No, the spell was working. Gwen was obviously enchanted and yet the other three seemed completely unaware.

What was this? Perhaps another sorcerer had put a spell on them so that they did not notice witchcraft anymore?

He quietly said the spell to reveal the use of magic and found only a small spark from Morgana's dream the night before and some pointless domestic tasks Merlin had been cheating on (again). He often wondered how the idiot hadn't been discovered before his. He did magic in front of everybody _all the time_.

"Prince Arthur, my liege," he greeted the Prince and stepped out into his path. He bowed low then straightened up to address him.

"If it please you, My Lord, you may not have heard of me. I am a travelling physician who has discovered an amazing non-magical cure for magic spells. I was wondering if you had need of me?"

"No," replied Arthur bluntly and looked to his companions. Merlin shook his head adamantly for obvious reasons and Morgana look vaguely terrified of the notion. Gwen just stood there looking adoringly at Arthur.

"Are you sure, Sire? I think I feel the presence of magic somewhere nearby? Mayhap one of your friends here is acting unusually?"

"My friends are behaving much as they always have, sir, and I thank you not to peddle your wares so aggressively in the street. Now, I bid you good day."

"I know I'm just a servant, sire, but I do admire it when you speak with such conviction," the sorcerer heard Gwen say as they walked off.

"And Merlin, you're looking very handsome today. I really do prefer nice, ordinary men like you to these rough-tough-save-the-world-type-of-men.

"I wonder when Lancelot's coming back to Camelot. I miss him so much. I really have never felt that way about anybody. Except you, of course, Sire. But our love is so forbidden. Maybe it would be best to be with somebody like Merlin... but then, Lancelot is truly the embodiment of Knightly virtues... maybe if I kissed you all again..."

The sorcerer looked at their retreating backs and regretfully admitted defeat. How could they not notice she was enchanted? He sighed. Maybe the 'fickle love' spell wasn't the best choice.

He looked at Merlin and Arthur walking side by side companionably and gave them a thoughtful look.

Maybe the 'homoerotic subtext' spell? They'd definitely notice that...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N To GuildedDragonfly who will get the joke.**

**And yes, this is really complete now. Absolutely, truly. Promise. Might want to put an alert on it just in case...**

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Spell... part two

The sorcerer strode through the hallways of the castle in Camelot with little fear of discovery from those around him. One of the earliest spells he had learned was one for invisibility. He had cloaked himself from the world and could now move around the corridors with impunity.

It had been a day since he had cast his spell. A day since he had ensorcelled all who beheld Prince Arthur and his manservant to believe the two were lovers and to interpret everything they said and did as evidence of that affair.

"Mannes éadlufe," he had whispered to Uther, Guinevere, Morgana, Gaius, the Knights and servants and some others who had dealings with the two on a daily basis.

Soon the rumours of their relationship would spread and Uther would come to him, yes he would, come to him in the belief that the boy had enchanted his son. He would agree to break the "enchantment". Arthur would become the tool of his revenge and Merlin, who was the only one with the power to stop him, would be executed for witchcraft.

"Brilliant," he muttered to himself and then shut his mouth firmly as a chambermaid dropped the contents of her pot at the voice coming out of mid-air.

Morgana and Guinevere passed by him, headed seemingly for Arthur's chambers. He followed them hoping to watch their appalled reactions as they misinterpreted ordinary actions and conversation as sexual.

They paused outside the door to Arthur's rooms and hesitated.

"We should probably knock," said Gwen shyly, "I mean... you know..."

The sorcerer gave a grin. The spell must have already have worked.

"Don't be silly, Gwen," said Morgana archly, "it'll probably be like last time and they'll be doing something completely innocent that just sounds... naughty."

Now he was closer, the sorcerer could hear angry noises coming from the room.

"You, Merlin, are a complete buffoon. Totally useless. How difficult is it to just grasp it firmly at the base and then gently pull upwards? No, gently. I said, gently! What are you trying to do, pull it off?"

The sorcerer looked at Morgana and Gwen's mutual looks of embarrassment and amusement and smirked. This time it was working. The rumours would start any day now.

"No, Merlin. Look, just... step back from the tub for a moment. Now, think about what you're doing. This is a very... sensitive... piece of equipment. Now, try again. No, don't tug. Pull. Oh, that's it. Yes. Yes, you've got it now. Gently but firmly, Merlin. Gently but firmly."

"Ok, now I'm really curious," Morgana noted to Gwen, "I'm sure if we thought about it we could find a good excuse to..."

There was a crack, a spash and a heavy thump from the room.

"Agh!" cried Arthur.

"Arthur!" cried Merlin.

"Are you alright?" cried the girls as they burst into the room, doing their best impression of 'concerned, not curious'.

Arthur was lying naked and bleeding on the floor of his bathing room having apparently cut himself on the broken metal tap that fed his bath from the underwater springs. The remnant of the tap was spurting water all over the room; the majority of it sitting in Merlin's hand as his face and clothing became increasingly soaked.

"I think I tugged," he said with a rueful grin. He looked at Arthur lying furious on the ground.

"I'll find a plumber."

And he placed the tap head in Morgana's hand and left the room.

* * *

"Plumbers!" Merlin announced with satisfaction as he came back into Arthur's chambers.

The sorcerer looked up in satisfaction at seeing him back in the room. His plan came to nought unless as many people as possible observed their interactions. Arthur was sitting dressed on the bed, his wound bandaged by Gwen who, he thought, had been altogether too touchy-feely about the process.

"So these are the plumbers, are they?" asked Arthur as he surveyed the two men: one blonde and well-built and the other slighter with dark hair and pale skin.

"Good," he said, "the water's already flooded the bathroom and is starting to encroach on the dining room."

"Very good..."

"... sire..." said the two men, with the darker one finishing the first one's sentence.

"Bathing rooms are our..."

"...speciality. We..."

"...spend a lot of a time in them," the blonde one finished.

"Good," replied Arthur cautiously with a slightly disconcerted look on his face. "What are your names?"

"William,' the blonde one answered, "and..."

"Benjamin," said the darker one. He had awfully big ears, Arthur thought.

"Bill and Ben," clarified Merlin with a grin, "everyone knows Bill and Ben. Never apart. Do everything together."

"It's our destiny," said Ben, a bit shyly. "since we met... it's like we're..."

"...two sides of the same coin," said Bill.

"Riiighhht..." Arthur managed, not sure exactly what to say about this revelation. "Thank you, Merlin," he said, as his manservant began to massage his tired shoulders. Gwen and Morgana looked at Bill and Ben and then at the two on the bed and broke into laughter.

"Well, um, we'll... leave... _all of you_... to it, shall we?" said Morgana and she and Gwen fled the room in a fit of giggles.

"What's with them?" asked Merlin, as he removed Arthur's shirt to have better access to his sore muscles.

"I have no idea," replied Arthur, mystified but unconcerned. "A little to the right, Merlin, please. Oh yeah, that feels good."

* * *

"Sire," said the sorcerer as he presented himself to the King a few days later. ""If it please you, My Lord, you may not have heard of me. I am a travelling physician who has discovered an amazing non-magical cure for magic spells. I come with a disturbing revelation that I feel I should share with you."

Uther waved an impatient hand in this direction and the sorcerer took a deep breath.

"I'm afraid, Sire, that since I arrived in Camelot I have noticed something about your son. I think he is enchanted."

"What?!" roared Uther and he leaned forward on his throne. "How dare you make such an accusation. You had better have proof."

"I do, My Lord," replied the sorcerer and put his head down respectfully. Soon, Uther would be his.

"His recent actions speak for themselves, My Lord. The whole Court gossips of it."

"What actions?" asked Uther.

"Sire, you must have noticed. It is obvious he has brought his manservant into his bed. This is surely the result of witchcraft. The boy has enchanted him."

Uther sat back in his chair for a moment and then started laughing. The Knights joined in and soon the rest of those in the Throne room were chortling along with them.

"Sire, I don't..." The sorcerer looked around at the Knights and wondered what had gone wrong. "Sire, if you don't believe me then I'm sure these fine men of gentle birth could attest to..."

"There is nothing to attest to, physician," replied Uther with a chortle. "My son is free to do whatever he wants with his servants. As for Merlin, as far as I'm aware they've been lovers this past year."

He looked at Leon at the back of the room.

"Ah, yes Sire. Their affection is obvious and Arthur brings him everywhere. The boy is basically useless. It can be the only reason the Prince keeps him around."

"But, Your Majesty," protested the sorcerer, unable to believe his plan had gone wrong a second time.

Uther's face turned serious.

"You dare argue with your King?" he asked rhetorically. "Then you can do it from a cell. And when you are released, you will not use the word 'magic' in connection with my son or his... skinny little paramour... ever again."

The sorcerer nodded and conceded defeat as he was led off to the dungeons, passing the two plumbers on the way. As he was dragged out of the room, his ears pricked up as Uther said...

"Merlin and Arthur? Or was it Merlin and Morgana? She spends an unusual amount of time running to Gaius' quarters at all time of the day and night. And then there was that Knight, Lancelot, with whom he was apparently sharing a bed. And wasn't he involved with that servant girl, Gwen, as well?"

"He does provide a service to Camelot, my Lord, it is true," agreed Leon.

"Umm, I should probably insist the boy get some more rest. Ah, Bill and Ben, have you two been bathing each other again? I hope you got some plumbing done as well."

Morgana, thought the sorcerer as he was locked away, that's perfect. She's the King Ward and under constant guard. What if I cast a spell to make her disappear? She could be here one day and then missing for weeks for no apparent reason. Yes, he thought, as he plotted how he'd do it. He'd make Morgana disappear.

They'd definitely notice that.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I think I'm setting a bad precedent for being influenced by my reviewers. But hell, you guys make this whole writing thing truly worthwhile. So, here it is. The conclusion to Spell.**

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Spell Part 3

"Gedrysnian ungesewen," intoned the sorcerer over the sleeping form of Morgana.

Before his eyes, she shimmered and disappeared. She was still there, of course, it was just that she would not be able to touch anything or be seen. It was as though she had been moved slightly out of this world and into the next one.

The sorcerer looked in glee at the latched windows and the guards outside the door. When her maid came in the next morning, there would be no evidence of her having left. She would just be... gone.

"Uther will be begging me to find her," he whispered to himself joyfully. "This is it."

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"Aetíewan bétan," chanted the sorcerer over Morgana's sleeping form. So, he'd managed to coincide her disappearing act with the arrival of Catriona the troll and so no one seemed to have noticed her disappearance.

Her maid had simply come in the next morning, made the bed, sighed and stood for four hours staring out the window at Prince Arthur practicing the joust. Gwen hadn't even bloody noticed! _Morgana_ would have though, surely, so if he just un-invisibled her then she could run screaming to Uther about how she had been unable to speak or touch anything for weeks.

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"Gedrysnian ungesewen," intoned the sorcerer over the sleeping form of Morgana.

So, apparently, Morgana herself hadn't noticed that she'd been rendered invisible. She'd been too preoccupied with her own concerns to notice that she has suddenly lost form and substance for _two whole weeks_. Honestly, if these people weren't the dumbest, most oblivious...

The sorcerer took a deep breath. It was just bad timing, of course, but now that the Witchfinder had left they would surely notice. Surely. So, here he was, enchanting her _again_ and, honestly, an evil sorcerer hellbent on revenge and destruction should not have to work so hard. I mean, it's not as though revenge paid anything. He was doing this entirely out of his own time and money and should expect to some sort of results for his efforts.

"Maybe I should just go back to cabbage farming," he muttered as he watched Morgana once again slide out of view. Patience, they said, was a virtue, but his was running out.

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"Merlin, you probably haven't noticed this, being such an idiot, but there's definitely something strange going on in Camelot."

"I agree, Sire," agreed Merlin, agreeably.

The sorcerer, once again invisible and sneaking around the castle as before, pricked up his ears in hope. This was it, surely. This was what he'd been working towards. It had been two weeks since he'd cast his spell and even his capacity for patience was running thin.

The people of Camelot seemed unusually dense when it came to witchcraft being practiced in front of them and he wasn't going to expose himself like he did the last two times. But this time... oh, this time...

"I have a strange feeling, Merlin, that something's not quite right."

"Me too, Sire," agreed Merlin, again. "Maybe Morgana might have noticed something."

Arthur smirked at him and the sorcerer took a deep breath in anticipation.

"I don't have affection for her, you know. I don't. Arthur! Oh... shut up, Arthur."

"I didn't say anything, Merlin."

"You didn't need to. Hey, how about we talk about Gwen instead?"

"Oh... shut up, Merlin. Go and steal some more dresses."

"I told you, those dresses weren't for me."

"Riiigght."

"They were for... um... Bill and Ben. Yep, Bill and Ben. They like their dresses."

"Oh dear. It seemed quite an expensive dress. I hope they don't do plumbing in them."

"No, Arthur, I'm pretty sure they don't wear dresses... to _plumb_."

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The sorcerer slinked away wondering once again if he should just give up. It had been months and nobody had noticed, least of all Morgana herself. He walked into the Throne room, this time completely visible, in the hope that Uther at least would finally notice his Ward's absence. How could he not after all this time?

"Where's Morgana?" he asked, suddenly, and the sorcerer's breath hitched.

Leon and Gaius shrugged.

"I'm not sure, My Lord," said Leon, "probably trying on dresses somewhere."

"Oh well, at least she's not yelling at me," replied Uther unconcernedly.

At that, the sorcerer snapped.

"Are you joking?" he found himself crying out, "She's been gone, GONE, for weeks. Just *poof* completely disappeared. Invisible! And none of you have noticed! Are you mad? Stupid? Insane? It's sorcery, I tell you."

He began jumping up and down on the spot.

"Sorcery! Sorcery! Sorcery! It was me! I did it! I enchanted her. She's invisible and I did it. My revenge is nigh, Uther, mwahahahahaha!"

He stopped suddenly and looked at Uther's impassive face.

"For God's sake, Leon, put him to death. He's either an evil sorcerer or completely insane – or perhaps both - and either way, we can't have him running around our Kingdom."

"Yes Sire. Hanging, decapitation or burning?"

"Decapitation. It'll shut him up the fastest. Take him away."

"You'll see, Uther," said the crazed sorcerer as they dragged him away, "I'll do it. I'll have my revenge. Mwahahahaha! Mwahahahaha! Revenge! Revenge!"

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The axeman's blade came down upon his neck and, standing at her window watching sadly, Morgana suddenly appeared.

"My Lady," said Gwen with a start as she walked into the room.

"Hello, Gwen," replied Morgana sadly as she continued to stare at the headless body being carted away.

"How are you, My Lady? I feel as though I haven't seen you in weeks."

"The same as usual, Gwen," Morgana said with a somewhat forced smile. "Nothing remarkable has happened at all.


End file.
